
  Review by
        Eric Hillis
  Directed by: Lee Isaac Chung
  Starring: Daisy Edgar-Jones, Glen Powell, Anthony Ramos, David Corenswet, Brandon Perea, Sasha Lane, Daryl
      McCormack, Kiernan Shipka, Maura Tierney
 
    
    Almost 30 years after Twister swept into cinemas, Hollywood's allergy to anything resembling an
        original idea gives us a belated sequel that, as has proven the case
        with so many of these endeavours, plays more like a remake than a
        continuation. While recent revivals like Halloween, Top Gun and Beverly Hills Cop have been built around returning protagonists, Helen Hunt is
        curiously absent here, probably because only the horror genre allows
        actresses over a certain age to headline franchise instalments.
  
  
    Twisters isn't a horror movie, but it probably should be. The 1996
        original sparked a revival of the disaster movie (it's probably to blame
        for the Hollywood career of Roland Emmerich), a format whose heyday was
        the 1970s. Those '70s disaster movies were essentially a reworking of
        the monster movies of the '50s, replacing giant lizards with earthquakes
        and burning skyscrapers. The fun was in seeing famous faces fall to
        their death or be crushed by debris. Twister hired Michael Crichton as a screenwriter and had him try to
        shoehorn the Jurassic Park template into a movie about wind. The estranged couple rekindling
        their affection while battling an oversized threat was carried over, but
        the fun of seeing characters mauled, chewed and torn apart was all-too
        absent.
  
  
    Twisters really wants to be a monster movie. You can tell it's unconvinced
        that a tornado is enough to impress today's cinemagoers (hell, we've had
        sharknados in the intervening decades!), and so it tries to make wind
        more frightening by setting it on fire and having tornadoes multiply
        like gremlins fed after midnight. Several towns are destroyed, but
        mostly offscreen. While the tornado is levelling main street, the camera
        remains with our heroes as they huddle under some makeshift cover. The
        trouble with this subject matter is that it's grounded in an ongoing
        real life tragic situation for a large swath of America, and so the
        movie has to walk on eggshells so as not to be seen to proft from
        tragedy. Twisters is careful not to make the destructive force of a tornado into a
        popcorn spectacle, resulting in a movie that is rarely
        entertaining.
  
  
    For Twisters to work, it would need to be made by some insenstive European
        gorehound like Alexandre Aja or Xavier Gens, someone who couldn't care
        less if their film is seen as distasteful by the residents of Kansas. At
        one point we're teased the idea of seeing a bunch of little league
        baseball players swept into the heavens by an oncoming tornado, but of
        course it never happens. Why make a movie about a destructive force if
        you're not going to indulge in that destruction? Audiences love
        devastation so much that they were recently willing to sit
        through a three hour homework movie about a scientist just because they were promised a massive
        explosion at some point. Give the people what they want! Give us the
        modern equivalent of Jennifer Jones falling from a skyscraper and
        whacking the concrete all the way down. Give us OJ rescuing a cat. Give
        us a snivelling corporate villain for whom is reserved the most painful
        demise. Give us sexual chemistry between two leads covered in sweat and
        grease.
  
  
    Twisters gives us none of that. No recognisable stars are killed, unless
        you count the prologue in which Daryl McCormack and Kiernan Shipka (not exactly household names)
        are swept away to lay down the obligatory trauma for our female
        lead, Daisy Edgar-Jones' storm-chaser turned desk jockey
        Kate. Glen Powell's cocky but warm-hearted YouTube
        storm-chaser Tyler rescues a dog, but it happens offscreen and it's from
        some rubble rather than a tornado itself. There is a corporate villain
        in the form of a property developer who swoops into levelled towns with
        offers to buy the land from locals who have lost their homes, but again
        it's a character who exists primarily offscreen and we never get to see
        them meet their maker in a satisfyingly grisly manner. The worst that
        happens to any of the nominal bad guys here is one of them gets covered
        in mud. Sexual chemistry is absent because Hollywood's complete
        misunderstanding of the MeToo movement has created an asexual cinematic
        landscape where even playful flirting is frowned upon. All we get here
        are a few moments where Tyler and Kate lock eyes for more than two
        seconds. It's enough to inspire "shipping" fantasies in the audience,
        but innocuous enough so as not to upset the new puritans, who would no
        doubt take offense to the nine year age gap between the leads.
  
  
    Perhaps what's most curiously absent from a 2024 movie about the
        devastation caused by weather is any mention of climate change. The
        disaster movies of the '70s were always keen to highlight the folly of
        man and how our ambitions come back to bite us on the ass, whether it be
        builiding skyscrapers too tall, cruise ships too big or planes too
        fast. Twisters treats tornadoes as though they're the shark in Jaws, an unfortunate case of the human world gettng in the path of nature;
        there's never any suggestion that it might be a problem of our own
        making. Even Emmerich's overblown disaster movies were keen to point out
        that natural disasters were becoming increasingly unnatural in
        origin.
  
  
    So what are we left with? Not a whole lot. Twister was no masterpiece but its sequel is so devoid of anything that
        might hold our attention that it plays as though a tornado has swept
        through the 1996 movie and laid waste to most of the elements that
        almost made it work. We don't even get any flying cows this time,
        because movies insist on taking themselves seriously now. The only beef
        here is between disappointed viewers and a Hollywood that forgot how to
        entertain us at some point in the last 30 years.
  
   
      
        Twisters is on UK/ROI VOD now.
      
       
