Review by
Eric Hillis
Directed by: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett
Starring: Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Skeet Ulrich, Heather
Matarazzo, Marley Shelton, Melissa Barrera, Mason Gooding, Jenna Ortega, Dylan Minnette, Jack
Quaid
Of all the major horror franchises, Scream is the least cinematic. The
first movie arrived in 1996 when American cinema was suffering a severe case
of verbal diarrhea as every other screenwriter wished to be the next
Tarantino. Characters in '90s American movies talked incessantly, often
about other movies, and Scream took this idea to new heights with both the
killers and their victims picked from a bunch of horror obsessed
teens.
The trouble with the Scream movies is that they're essentially Murder She
Wrote episodes without Jessica Fletcher. They're whodunnits in which nobody
figures out who done it. A protagonist, usually Neve Campbell's Sidney
Prescott, adopts the role of detective as they try to figure out who is
behind the iconic Ghostface mask, but it always ends with the killer having
to reveal their own identity. Peppered with a few stabbings, the Scream
movies are bogged down with dialogue as characters talk about who the killer
might be and what their motives are.
Even by the low standards set by previous instalments, Scream (why can't
you just call it Scream 5 FFS???) looks like a movie that belongs on the
small screen. It's a series of numbing conversations shot like a daytime soap opera, complete with the botox-ed faces you might find in such
a drama. Occasionally there's a stabbing, which are notably more sadistic
here than in previous entries, but no more thrilling.
With Prescott having left Woodsboro, a new final girl is selected by the
mystery killer in Sam Carpenter (Melissa Barrera), a twentysomething whose
teenage sister Tara (Jenna Ortega) survived an attack by Ghostface. Sam
recruits former Sheriff Dewey Riley (David Arquette), who reluctantly
returns to Woodsboro, quickly followed by Sidney and his former lover,
journalist Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox).
What follows is a tedious series of soap opera level revelations about
family histories and blandly staged stalk and slash sequences. Early on a
character mentions how the horror genre has left slasher antics behind and
for a minute we think this Scream might be about to riff on the tropes on
what has annoying been labelled "elevated horror." But no, the series is
still mired in decades old conventions - even Psycho's shower scene is
referenced.
Scream is so meta that several characters point out how redundant and
uninspired the movie they're stuck in really is, even going so far as to
point out some of the franchise's flaws. It's a remarkable self-own, and you
get the impression that the writers feel they're above this sort of fare.
But they're certainly not, as they can't even manage to put together a
simple slasher storyline without getting bogged down in plotholes and
falling into the void of logic gaps.
There are moments in Scream that display utter contempt for the audience,
culminating in a killer reveal that simply makes no sense in the story's
narrative. At one point our heroes have the chance to unmask the killer but
decide instead to simply walk away. What? We've spent an hour watching these
people incessantly debate who the killer might be and now all of a sudden
they lose interest? The bare minimum the script could have done is remain
consistent to its characters' motivations. When a character suggests that
this movie shouldn't really exist, you can't help but nod in agreement. When
the words "For Wes" appear on screen it feels like a final insult rather
than a loving tribute.
