Review by
Eric Hillis
Directed by: Eli Horowitz
Starring: Winona Ryder, Dermot Mulroney, John Gallagher Jr., Owen Teague, Brianne
Tju
The most effective horror movie protagonists are often those that
reflect the audience's fears and insecurities. As most horror movies are
aimed at a teen audience, such fears and insecurities tend to be less
relatable to older viewers. Getting killed by a masked maniac before
you've just lost your virginity might connect with a 16-year-old, but
it's not so relatable if you're 46.
Casting a 50-year-old Winona Ryder as his "final girl," first
time director Eli Horowitz exploits an insecurity specific to
older viewers, the dread of aging into irrelevance, and in the case of
women, becoming invisible.
Ruder plays Kath, a mild-mannered, some might say uptight botanist who
has been in a half-assed relationship with a younger man, Max (John Gallagher Jr.), for roughly a year. Kath is struggling to keep up with the energy of
Max, who is in his thirties yet displays the immaturity of a teenager,
and finds herself agreeing to a weekend away at a cabin in Northern
California to spice up their relationship.
When Kath and Max arrive at the cabin they discover it's been double
booked. Already present is a twentysomething couple, the rude Al (Owen Teague) and the seductive Greta (Brianne Tju). The former doesn't seem
too keen on sharing the cabin, but his girlfriend twists his arm. When a
party game takes a sexual turn, with Greta licking Max's elbow, Kath
excuses herself and heads to bed. The following morning she wakes to
find a disconsolate Al all alone, Max and Greta having disappeared
together.
Kath doesn't seem particularly upset at losing Max, as the relationship
was headed south. But what really annoys her is that he was stolen by a
younger woman. Dogged by her insecurities, Kath sets about tracking down
Greta, though she's unsure of what she'll do when she confronts
her.
As Kath carries out her investigation, aided by Barlow (Dermot Mulroney), the handsome and sensitive owner of the rental property, Horowitz
delivers flashbacks that fill in details Kath isn't privy too. It seems
there's more to Max's disappearance than initially meets the eye.
Horowitz probably relies a little too much on his film's non-linear
structure, which makes the plot seem a lot more clever than it really
is. Essentially what The Cow boils down to is an
old-fashioned mad scientist b-movie that's been given a mumblecore
makeover. But that structure does indeed keep us invested in an
otherwise simplistic plot. Once we've been made privy to the full
details of what's afoot here, the film doesn't really know where to go
next, resulting in an underwhelming and sloppy climax.
It's as a vehicle for Ryder that the film has most value. She may still
be in the top 1% of the planet's most beautiful people, but Ryder
convincingly portrays a successful woman who has clearly used her brains
to make it in life, but is nevertheless terrified of losing her youthful
looks. Like so many middle-aged people who assume the December role in a
May to December relationship, Ryder's Kath finds that dating a younger
person only serves to make them aware of their mortality rather than
inspiring some rejuvenation. Whoever said "you're only as young as the
man/woman you feel" clearly never felt the sheer exhaustion of trying to
keep up with a younger lover.
