The Movie Waffler Dublin Horrorthon 2013 Review - We Are What We Are / Thanatomorphose / Chastity Bites | The Movie Waffler

Dublin Horrorthon 2013 Review - We Are What We Are / Thanatomorphose / Chastity Bites

We Are What We Are
Directed by: Jim Mickle
Starring: Bill Sage, Ambyr Childers, Julia Garner, Kelly McGillis, Michael Parks, Wyatt Russell

One of the most eagerly anticipated movies of the fest, Mickle's film is a remake of the 2010 Mexican film of the same name.
The movie's cannibal family are relocated to rural America this time as Mickle interjects some thinly disguised commentary on America's growing religious fanaticism. He did an excellent job critiquing fundamentalism through allegory with his previous movie Stakeland, a highly original take on the vampire genre, but here his gripes are a bit too out in the open.
Compared to Stakeland, which possessed moments of wildly imaginative creativity, WAWWA is quite blandly directed, though the camerawork of Mickle's consistent DOP Ryan Samul creates a classy almost antique atmosphere.
Ultimately, WAWWA was my biggest disappointment of the fest. That's not to say it's a bad film, but Mickle's talents can produce far better results than this.

Directed by: Eric Falardeau
Starring: Emile Beaudry, Eryka Cantieri, Roch-Denis Gagnon

Not just the worst film of the fest but, for me, the worst thing I've seen all year, Falardeau's Quebecois body-horror tells the er...story of a young sculptor (Beaudry) whose body begins to slowly decompose.
The action is confined to a sparsely decorated and horribly lit apartment and mostly consists of Beaudry walking around, usually naked, as bits of her flesh gradually fall away like damp plaster.
Falardeau seems to be making some sort of feminist statement by having his male characters consistently behave like assholes (one charmer even allows Beaudry to orally service him while she's in a semi-decomposed state), but the amount of time his camera spends lingering on her naked body negates any such intent.
Could the film's message be that women are discarded by men once the aging process sets in? Or is it an excuse to show some tits and gore? I'll let you decide, as I certainly won't be returning for a second viewing.

Chastity Bites
Directed by: John V. Knowles
Starring: Allison Scagliotti, Francia Raisa, Louise Griffiths

This low budget comedy sets up but ultimately squanders an intriguing premise. Countess Elizabeth Bathory (aka Countess Dracula), who legend tells us bathed in virgin's blood to retain her youth, travels to a conservative town in the US where she sets up a society encouraging high school girls to keep their cherries unpopped, thus allowing her an endless supply of pure blood.
Chastity Bites might have been the funniest horror satire of 1996 but in 2013 it feels like a dated relic from the post Scream, pre Buffy era. The comedy is played far too broadly for what could have been a smart and insightful piece of social commentary.
Stunning English actress (and Kate Beckinsale lookalike) Griffiths lends a touch of class to proceedings as the Countess, a role she really embraces with relish but the rest of the cast appear amateurish when pitted against her.
This one's not worth breaking the seal on.

Eric Hillis