The Movie Waffler New Release Review - Piranha 3DD | The Movie Waffler

New Release Review - Piranha 3DD

Directed by: John Gulager
Starring: Danielle Panabaker, Ving Rhames, David Hasselhoff, Christopher Lloyd, Gary Busey, Chris Zylka

The killer fish from "Piranha 3D" make their way to a newly opened waterpark looking for fresh blood.

Gorehounds have the "Saw" films, found footage freaks have the "Paranormal Activity" series but what about us fans of monster movies? When a sequel to Alexandre Aja's fantastically fun "Piranha 3D" was announced it seemed we just might have our own franchise. After all if they stick to the winning formula set down by the Frenchman how could it not succeed? Sadly it's first (and I suspect last) sequel simply Doesn't Deliver. It usually takes the fifth movie (Halloween 5, A Nightmare On Elm Street 5) for a horror series to hit the sort of lows presented here.
Aja declined helming the sequel but come on, how hard can it be to keep this going? Quite hard as evidenced by the creative team behind the "Feast" series who now take the reigns. This bears no resemblance to Aja's film whatsoever, in fact it's basically a Wayans brothers style spoof of it's predecessor. Horror fans will be disgusted. I suspect this movie is what film snobs imagine every horror film to be. Gulager can't direct to save his life, I suspect if he wasn't the son of cult actor John Gulager he wouldn't have a career at all. The script is horrible, full of crude toilet humour and sex jokes. While it's prequel raised smiles for anyone who grew up renting schlock videos in the eighties, this seems aimed squarely at the "Jackass" generation. 
The budget would appear significantly reduced, the final set piece is really just set around a swimming pool. Don't expect any of the "Final Destination" meets "Saving Private Ryan" Grand Guignol Aja so delightfully gave us, this just consists of actors running around in the background while nothing actually happens. While watching the first film my jaw was agape at just how well Aja understood his material. My jaw was agape throughout this film for all the wrong reasons.
I've spoken before about how much I hate that recent trend, the celebrity cameo. Particularly annoying were Mike Tyson in "The Hangover" and Bill Murray in "Zombieland". The casting of Hasselhoff here is the lowest of the low. The scary thing is he's actually the best thing in the damn film.
If you loved "Piranha 3D" as much as I did you'll of course be tempted to check this out. DDon't!