Directed by: Steven Soderbergh
Starring: Gina Carano, Michael Angarano, Ewan McGregor, Michael Douglas, Michael Fassbender, Channing Tatum, Antonio Banderas, Bill Paxton
Some movies are so insultingly bad that you actually leave the cinema with a headache from trying to figure out how something so awful could ever have been greenlit.
It seems to have become an annual staple to release a terrible movie about a rogue female agent, last year we had "Hanna", the year before "Salt". When I tell you that this is worse than either of it's contemporaries you'll know just how bad it is.
Think of a Bollywood movie without the musical numbers and you've got the essence of "Haywire". We have a hot female protagonist who free-runs her way from one blandly executed set-piece to the next with no regard for story, plot or logic. Despite the movie taking place over a mere ten days, during which she is constantly on the run, Carano manages to sport about six different hairstyles and always seems to have her eye-liner applied in a way that says "I'm sultry but dangerous". Carano is an MMA fighter and it tells, she looks great when running and fighting but her acting chops leave a lot to be desired, all rolling eyes and ruffled forehead.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdn8Cl95R5TCG5-IIZk__PhShGAgvTLIoIXe2YXoz92c1AFFU6LgGFF_5E9-TMrgsqR8LQjHsyamrJ2F4RQc6qH_gi31A2RLK_cBCJ29IYhyphenhyphenrHFr8Ef9pDKXymD9Xsv6jHdhPbaT669hS3/s200/michael-douglas-and-gina-carano-in-haywire_500x331.jpg)
David Holmes score is horribly misjudged, as if he thought he was scoring a pastiche of sixties spy movies rather than the Bourne type thriller Soderbergh seems to have been aiming for. At one point there's a fight in a hotel room which thanks to the music feels like it belongs in a "Pink Panther" movie.
As a native of Dublin I enjoyed the novelty factor of seeing the streets I walk every day utilised in a big-budget movie. A lot of Dubliners will probably want to see it for this reason, otherwise give this one a seriously wide berth.
1/10