Review by Eric Hillis
Directed by: Glenn Danzig
Starring: Rachel Alig, Alice Haig, Natalia Borowsky, Sean Kanan, Scotch Hopkins, Ashley Wisdom, Kayden Kross
Best known as the vocalist for cult rock bands The Misfits and Danzig, Glenn Danzig is also something of a comic book mogul, having founded his own comics label, 'Verotik', back in the 1990s. The comics under Danzig's banner boast a heavy blend of violence and eroticism, aimed at an adult readership, though no doubt most enjoyed by teenage boys. Now, with Verotika, Danzig turns his hand to filmmaking, adapting three stories from his comics for an anthology film that like his comics, offers viewers heavy dollops of blood and boobs, and will likely be most appreciated by teenage boys.
The wraparound segments are fronted by quasi horror host Morella (Kayden Kross), whom we meet gouging a young woman's eyeballs out with her well-manicured nails. As horror hosts go, she's no Elvira, and Danzig's script doesn't even give Kross any puns to work with. She simply pops up between segments to tell us another one is one the way.
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The first segment, 'The Albino Spider of Dajette', establishes the film's sophomoric, smutty humour as Dajette (Ashley Wisdom) frightens off a potential beau when he lifts her top to discover a pair of eyeballs where her nipples should be. This revelation never actually figures into the resulting story, which concerns an albino spider that comes to life in the form of a seven foot tall horny serial killer (Scotch Hopkins) whenever Dajette falls asleep. This story might be a Nightmare on Elm Street knockoff, but unlike the following segments, it does at least function as a complete narrative of sorts. I'm not sure why Danzig forced his cast to adopt offensively bad French accents though.
Next up is 'Change of Face', in which a stripper known only as 'Mystery Girl' (Rachel Alig) likes to carve the faces off beautiful young women and wear them over her own. Ending in baffling abruptness, this segment is basically an excuse to show a bunch of strippers go about their business, like a tribute to the Stripped to Kill franchise.
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Things end with 'Drukija Contessa of Blood', the zillionth screen riff on the legend of Countess Bathory, who liked to bathe in the blood of virgins, believing it would grant her eternal youth. This one is pretty much just an excuse to get Drkija (Alice Haig) splashing around naked in blood. One such sequence lasted so long that I was tempted to hit fast forward, only my screener didn't offer such a function and I knew my 14-year-old self would be disgusted at me were I to do such a thing.
Verotika is essentially a piece of horror themed softcore porn of the type put out by straight to video label Seduction Cinema back in the 2000s. The supporting cast is made up largely of pornstars, and this is reflected in the quality of acting throughout. Danzig does at least attempt to give his movie the look of a comic book with primary coloured lighting, costumes and production design, but he displays little aptitude for directing, and certainly not for pacing. Horror fans may mine some ironic laughs from Verotika's general ineptitude, but those seeking hand shandy fodder have far better options within a mouse click or two.
Verotika is on Shudder from September 17th.
