The Movie Waffler Top 12 Phone Conversations in Films | The Movie Waffler

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Top 12 Phone Conversations in Films

We've teamed up with Network Telecom, business telephone systems specialists, to put together a list of our favourite movie phone conversations, from John McClane’s banter with Hans and Simon Gruber to Ron Burgundy’s iconic glass cage of emotion.








Taken

Possibly the most meme’d phone conversation of all time, Liam Neeson kills it as the quietly confident dad hell bent on rescuing his daughter.

Bryan: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Marko: …Good luck.




Speed

Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) reveals to Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) that he has strapped explosives to a bus in this 1994 thriller.

Jack: F*ck me!

Stephens: Oh, darn.




Ali G Indahouse



Ali G: No, b-eight-two-rez – be-attories. Batteries… 2-geh-4 – to-geva – together... Me was trying to save time. [Hangs up] Bambaclat.




Jerry Maguire

Rod Tidwell: I wanna make sure you're ready, brother. Here it is: Show me the money. Oh-ho-ho! SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! A-ha-ha! Jerry, doesn't it make you feel good just to say that! Say it with me one time, Jerry.

Jerry Maguire: Show you the money.

Rod Tidwell: Oh, no, no. You can do better than that, Jerry! I want you to say it with you, with meaning, brother! Hey, I got Bob Sugar on the other line; I bet you he can say it!

Jerry Maguire: Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. Show you the money.

Rod Tidwell: No! Not show you! Show me the money!

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: Yeah! Louder!

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: Yes, but, brother, you got to yell that sh*t!

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: I need to feel you, Jerry!

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: Jerry, you got to yell!

Jerry Maguire: SHOW ME THE MONEY! SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Rod Tidwell: Do you love this black man!

Jerry Maguire: I love the black man! Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: I love black people.

Jerry Maguire: I love black people!

Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherf*cker, Jerry?

Jerry Maguire: You're my motherf*cker!

Rod Tidwell: Whatcha gonna do, Jerry?

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: Unh! Congratulations, you're still my agent.






Mean Girls

Karen: I can't go out [faux coughs softly] I'm sick.

Regina: Boo, you whore!




Die Hard

Okay, so it’s not strictly speaking a telephone conversation.

But not only is Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman’s radio dance a thing of beauty, but the relationship between John McClane and Hans Gruber sets the precedent for Hans’ brother Simon’s vengeful phone calls two movies later, so we’re counting it.

Hans Gruber: Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?

John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.

Hans Gruber: Uh, no, I'm afraid not. But, you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?

John McClane: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really like those sequined shirts.

Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?

John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, mother*cker.




Anchorman

Fantana: Ron, where are you?

Ron Burgundy: I'm in a glass case of emotion!




Tropic Thunder

Les Grossman: First, take a big step back... and literally, F*CK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullsh*t power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-Godly f*cking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the f*cking United Nations and get a f*cking binding resolution to keep me from f*cking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherf*cker! I will massacre you! I WILL F*CK YOU UP!




The Hangover

Phil: Hey, Tracy! It's Phil.

Tracy: Hey, Phil. Where are you guys?

Phil: We are at the spa at the hotel.

Tracy: Cool. We're just getting some sun. Is Doug around?

Phil: Of course. Why wouldn't he be?

Tracy: I'm just wondering why you're calling me.

Phil: Um... We made a deal, no talking to girlfriends or wives. So we're all calling each other's.




Scarface

Tony Montana: Your guy Alberto... you know he's a piece of sh*t. I told him to do something he didn't listen to me, so I had to cancel his f*cking contract.

Alejandro Sosa: My partners and I are p*ssed off Tony.

Tony Montana: That's okay, no big deal. We do it next month.

Alejandro Sosa: No, Tony you can't do that. They found what was under the car, Tony! Now, our friend has got security up the ass! And the heat is gonna come down hard on my partners and me. There's not gonna be a next time you f*cking dumb Cuban... you c*cksucker! You blew it!

Tony Montana: Hey! Take it easy when to talk to me, okay?

Alejandro Sosa: I told you... I told you a long time ago, you f*cking little monkey, not to f*ck me!

Tony Montana: Hey, hey! Who the f*ck you think you're talking to huh? You wanna f*ck with me? Who the f*ck you think I am? Your f*cking bellboy? Come on! Bring it! You wanna go to war? We take you to war! Okay?




Die Hard with a Vengeance

Simon Gruber: "Birds of a feather, flocked together, so do pigs & swine. As nice as their chance as well as I had mine."

John McClane: Nice. Rhymes.

Simon Gruber: Why was the phone busy, who were you calling?

John McClane: The psychic hotline.

Simon Gruber: I advise you to take this more seriously.

John McClane: Hey, this is public phone. What do you want me to say?

Simon Gruber: You can simply say that there was a fat woman on it and it took you a minute to get her off. Now, there's a significant amount of explosive in the trash receptacle next to you. Try to run, and it goes off now.

John McClane: We're not going to run, but I got a hundred people out here.

Simon Gruber: *That's* the point. Now, do I have your attention? "As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with 7 wives, every wife had 7 sacks, every sack had 7 cats, every cat had 7 kittens, kittens, cats sacks and wives. How many were going to St. Ives? My number is...

John McClane: Woah, whoa wait a minute I didn't get all that. Say it again.

Simon Gruber: Not a chance. My number is 555 and the answer. Call me in 30 seconds or die.




Ocean’s Eleven

Terry: All right. Now I have complied with your every request, would you agree?

Rusty: I would.


Terry: Good, 'cause now I have one of my own. Run and hide, asshole. Run and hide. If you should be picked up next week buying a hundred-thousand dollar sports car in Newport Beach, I am going to be supremely disappointed. Because I want my people to find you, and when they do, rest assured we are not going to hand you over to the police. So my advice to you again is this: run and hide. That is all that I ask.




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