New Release Review - The Five Year Engagement

Directed by: Nicholas Stoller

Starring: Jason Segel, Emily Blunt, Chris Pratt, Alison Brie, David Paymer, Mimi Kennedy, Dakota Johnson

Segel and Blunt's plans to get hitched are repeatedly put on hold as their relationship stagnates.

In one of this year's best films, Segel asked himself the existential question of whether he was a man or a muppet. His character here requires no such self-examination; he's clearly a muppet.

In the classic romantic comedies of the forties and fifties, women fell for alpha males like Humphrey Bogart and Gregory Peck, men who were ambitious, men who could provide for them, men who were winners. In the eighties, the likes of John Hughes turned the genre on it's head. The alpha males, now in the form of high school jocks, became the villains, the female leads instead falling for lovable losers in the John Cusack mould. In the modern rom-com the losers are still getting the girl but they're rarely lovable. Keep your toothbrushes handy, because the stories that movies like this try to to cram down your throat will leave a bad taste in your mouth.
The character portrayed here by Segel is such an unsuitable mate he makes Ike Turner look like an attractive prospect. He's got absolutely zilch to offer any woman, let alone a supposedly very smart one who looks just like Emily Blunt. Not even the most misogynistic viewer could want Blunt to settle for this buffoon. They end up together. That's not a spoiler, unless you've never watched a Hollywood comedy in your life. It's far from a happy ending. Does anyone think this relationship will work out? Not me.
As if having the stunning Blunt making goo-goo eyes at him wasn't hard enough to swallow, we're supposed to believe Segel has a past as a ladies man. During a split in the relationship he dates a 23 year old nymphomaniac. Had he watched "Manhattan" or "Buffalo 66" he would have known to stick with the younger girl, a much better match for someone so emotionally immature. By the end of the movie every male will hate him for being a complete douchebag who somehow snags Blunt, while every female will hate Blunt for letting down their gender by settling for him.

Here's a revolutionary idea; how about a movie where the female protagonist realises she doesn't need a man to complete her life? Sadly in an era where so many politicians win votes by focusing on "family values" it's an idea we won't see too often.
4/10

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