Review by
Sue Finn
Directed by: Martin Guigui
Starring: Mena Suvari, Todd Grinnell, Kristin Bauer van Straten
Mena Suvari, who seemingly has barely aged since her rose-bathing
American Beauty days, is the star draw in the cast of
unknowns populating this ‘home renovation nightmare’ movie.
As Tracey, she and her husband Knox, played by Todd Grinnell, are
new in their Malibu neighbourhood, having just acquired his mother’s
fire-damaged home. Boasting spectacular ocean views (“That’s a
six-million-dollar view”, Knox exclaims), the hard graft renovation is
worth it, they decide. They want to flip the house and head into a future
of dream homes and family life.
Sounds idyllic but there is one fly in the ointment - Bree, the homeless
woman who lives under the house and refuses to leave.
At first the only fear this squatter induces is in response to her
propensity to spout philosophical babble about identity in between
threatening looks. Not once looking a bit homeless but instead like an
ex-model going for the boho look, Bree claims ownership of the house she
says Knox’s mother stole from her.
She has a key and hidden access to the home, which she uses in various
ways, from intimidating Tracey to seducing Knox.
Tracey has apparently taken longing for a child to a whole new level. “Put
a baby in me!” she demands of Knox before they embark on sexy time; her
constant “You can’t get me pregnant” jibes at her husband would drive
anyone to unhappiness but perhaps getting a handjob from a shower-invading
homeless person is taking marital dissatisfaction a step too far.
When Bree starts killing people on the property and Knox starts picturing
the crazy homeless lady during sex, the film jumps the shark into a whole
new arena of ridiculous.
Paul Rudd-like Grinnell does his best but it would take a miracle to make
moments like the lie detector scene and the ‘big fight scene at the end’
anything more than laughable.
As Bree, Kristin Bauer van Straten goes big, and though her
propensity to explain every devious action makes her like a bad Bond
villain, she was effective enough that I hated her 10 minutes after
meeting her.
Suvari is as pleasing on-screen as ever, but this middling effort really
is beneath her; hopefully better roles will come her way.
Written by Sherry Klein and directed by Martin Guigui, their
decision to give our protagonists a dog tells me that film-makers still
haven’t learnt how much audiences hate seeing animals harmed or killed on
film, which frankly annoys the heck out of me. The direction here is
serviceable if somewhat flat, but the script is a bit of a mess and never
truly comes together as a cohesive whole.
This is almost campy enough to enjoy in a ‘so bad its good’ way but
unfortunately it doesn’t embrace the cheese quite as much as it should
have to make this a more enjoyable ride, and at one hour and 43 minutes
long, it would stretch anyone’s patience. There is much wasted potential
here; it’s a shame this film couldn’t decide on a tone or welcome being a
full-blown genre movie with all its trappings and excesses - the bland
here is suffocating the fun.
There are too many characters, no tension and a plot with more holes than
Swiss cheese, as well as it being overlong and quite silly.
It’s a no from me, I’m afraid.
Paradise Cove is on US VOD now. A
UK/ROI release has yet to be announced.
